I'm about to enter another stage in my life in a few short days and so with the extra time I have had to sit and enjoy some quiet moments, it has allowed me to reflect on a few things in life.
Growing up, I can recall many times where I was just a sounding board for my friends and family. Never thought too much of it, except being told that the idea of being a "good friend" is to be able to listen. Listen I did, but at the same time not realizing the impact that negative and "down" thoughts can have on a person.
I'm almost certain that by the time we are in our 30's we would have met someone along the way who just exudes negative energy. The only question is how much do they project out and how much do you absorb? Do you have that one friend or family member that when they are down or ranting about something, it seems to bring your entire spirits down too? And by the time they are done ( he/she is feeling much better) but now you have this heavy, almost suffocating sensation or your chest feels so heavy that you will just sink to the bottom of the sea even in a floatation device. I find these people like the Borg on Star Trek. They follow the rules of physics, they are negative and therefore naturally they are attracted to a positive person but even the most positive person eventually would be "assimilated" to this slowly and unwittingly form of negative energy.
I am not saying to dump your friends or family ( of course the latter is definitely a difficult one to do) but to be aware of this phenomenon of assimilated negative energy. Know when to put a stop and know when it is necessary to just walk away from such a person. Even therapist and councillors of all sorts know to debrief so as to ground themselves again or double checking that they have not accidentally picked up their clients "baggage" so to speak with them. But we, as the average citizen who doesn't have a job to clearly identify what is our "energy" and what is someone else's, we are truly at the mercy of this person who shares with us this stealth-like negative energy. Once the wheels of this negative vortex starts to develop, it almost catapults us into a realm of darkness and shadows.
I have run into friends and clients who can say that once they have determine the people to keep in their lives (those that they can manage to deflect these vibes) and those they need to keep at bay, their lives tend to change for the better. The dark clouds disperse, making way for the glimmer of sunshine to once again penetrate deep into our psyche.
All comments and stories are welcomed.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Darkness My Friendly Companion
The dark-side has always been synonymous with shadows, depression, creepy crawlies that come out at night, vampires, devils and all things evil. Recently, I have come to see this darkness as a friend and not as a foe. There is goodness, life and brightness that comes at the end of the spectrum of darkness.
Traditional Chinese Medicine talks about balance, the yin and the yang. They are just spectrums or opposite poles of the same thing. When things are in balance, we have harmony and health. When we do not go through this cycle from light to dark and from dark to light, then our health can be compromised. Activity and wakefulness is the yang, sleep and rest is the yin. But most of us don't realize that the amount of time that we spend in the yin aspect of our life is getting less and less.
For instance, before the invention of the light bulb, most people would go to bed when the sun goes down and get up when the sun rises. This is the way things should be, but of course in our whirl wind-like world, things are never what nature intends it to be. How many of us sleep in a room where something gives off light, such as a clock radio or alarm clock or even sleep with the television still on or have street lights or signs illuminating our sleeping quarters? The importance of replenishing that yin aspect of our life is crucial for good health. Good quality sleep in the darkness. So what happens in the complete dark? A very important biological substance is produced by a our pineal gland in our brain - melatonin.
Melatonin has been shown to be reduced with even small amounts of light during our sleep. So what is melatonin used for in our body? It is a powerful antioxidant. Anti-oxidants have been shown to reduce cellular damage. Unfortunately, unlike other anti-oxidants, melatonin doesn't get recycled such that to make the melatonin we need to go through our sleep wake cycles. So the age old saying of " I'll catch up with my sleep" can't be true. We can't really catch up to our sleep. So what should we do? First is to sleep at an appropriate time such that when melatonin is suppose to be peaking, we are actually asleep to be making it, second to sleep in the dark. Meaning we get heavy curtains to keep out any sort of external lighting, we use something to cover up alarm clock lights and other sources of light.
We all have a "dark side" that needs to be nourished, so lets embrace it.
Traditional Chinese Medicine talks about balance, the yin and the yang. They are just spectrums or opposite poles of the same thing. When things are in balance, we have harmony and health. When we do not go through this cycle from light to dark and from dark to light, then our health can be compromised. Activity and wakefulness is the yang, sleep and rest is the yin. But most of us don't realize that the amount of time that we spend in the yin aspect of our life is getting less and less.
For instance, before the invention of the light bulb, most people would go to bed when the sun goes down and get up when the sun rises. This is the way things should be, but of course in our whirl wind-like world, things are never what nature intends it to be. How many of us sleep in a room where something gives off light, such as a clock radio or alarm clock or even sleep with the television still on or have street lights or signs illuminating our sleeping quarters? The importance of replenishing that yin aspect of our life is crucial for good health. Good quality sleep in the darkness. So what happens in the complete dark? A very important biological substance is produced by a our pineal gland in our brain - melatonin.
Melatonin has been shown to be reduced with even small amounts of light during our sleep. So what is melatonin used for in our body? It is a powerful antioxidant. Anti-oxidants have been shown to reduce cellular damage. Unfortunately, unlike other anti-oxidants, melatonin doesn't get recycled such that to make the melatonin we need to go through our sleep wake cycles. So the age old saying of " I'll catch up with my sleep" can't be true. We can't really catch up to our sleep. So what should we do? First is to sleep at an appropriate time such that when melatonin is suppose to be peaking, we are actually asleep to be making it, second to sleep in the dark. Meaning we get heavy curtains to keep out any sort of external lighting, we use something to cover up alarm clock lights and other sources of light.
We all have a "dark side" that needs to be nourished, so lets embrace it.
Monday, March 30, 2009
The Circus Elephant
I once read, and I am no longer sure where I read it, that circus elephants are brain washed to believe that they are not stronger than the rope that holds them down. As baby elephants they are tied down with heavy chains and as they try and free themselves, they are unable to. As time passes and the elephant grows in size and has the power to break away from this bond, it no longer believes it can.
This type of conditioning happens a lot in our own lives and yet most of us are not aware of it. We go through life having certain beliefs but without us challenging these beliefs , are we no different from the circus elephant?
For instance, when I was younger ( back up a few decades) I would constantly be bombarded by people telling me how skinny and weak I am. I had always wanted to join the volleyball team but was not able to serve the ball over the net. That was a major requirement at that time and probably today as well to be able to get on the team. So year after year ( okay two years of junior high) I would try out for the team and year after year I would get cut. My first year in high school, I did not even bother to try out as I believed it was pointless. I was a circus elephant but I wasn't even working for the circus. If it weren't for a substitute teacher coming in for physical education class that I had, I would have continue to be my own circus elephant.
The fact is in two years my body had gotten stronger and with a minor technique adjustment in my serving suggested by my substitute phys ed teacher, I was suddenly getting the ball over 99% of the time. In another years time, the under hand serve was history and I was serving over head.
How many of us still carry or hold the same belief system we had as a child? How many of us are not consciously aware that things that may have been "impossible" or "improbable" in the past may now be a "possible" ? There are many factors that changes in our lives yet for some reason we sometimes stay stagnant in the "impossible" sphere.
Try creating a list of all the "impossible" things in your life. These can be anything from relationships, phobias, trauma, physical ability etc. We may not discover everything on the list of "impossible" as it has been buried deep within us for so long. Start scratching the surface and you may find yourself surprised that all this time when you had the strength of an elephant to roam freely yet you chose to stand still with a frayed rope tied loosely around your leg and attached to a wooden peg. Circus Elephants they are every where.
This type of conditioning happens a lot in our own lives and yet most of us are not aware of it. We go through life having certain beliefs but without us challenging these beliefs , are we no different from the circus elephant?
For instance, when I was younger ( back up a few decades) I would constantly be bombarded by people telling me how skinny and weak I am. I had always wanted to join the volleyball team but was not able to serve the ball over the net. That was a major requirement at that time and probably today as well to be able to get on the team. So year after year ( okay two years of junior high) I would try out for the team and year after year I would get cut. My first year in high school, I did not even bother to try out as I believed it was pointless. I was a circus elephant but I wasn't even working for the circus. If it weren't for a substitute teacher coming in for physical education class that I had, I would have continue to be my own circus elephant.
The fact is in two years my body had gotten stronger and with a minor technique adjustment in my serving suggested by my substitute phys ed teacher, I was suddenly getting the ball over 99% of the time. In another years time, the under hand serve was history and I was serving over head.
How many of us still carry or hold the same belief system we had as a child? How many of us are not consciously aware that things that may have been "impossible" or "improbable" in the past may now be a "possible" ? There are many factors that changes in our lives yet for some reason we sometimes stay stagnant in the "impossible" sphere.
Try creating a list of all the "impossible" things in your life. These can be anything from relationships, phobias, trauma, physical ability etc. We may not discover everything on the list of "impossible" as it has been buried deep within us for so long. Start scratching the surface and you may find yourself surprised that all this time when you had the strength of an elephant to roam freely yet you chose to stand still with a frayed rope tied loosely around your leg and attached to a wooden peg. Circus Elephants they are every where.
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